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Are you lying comfortably?
Posted by Colin Wilson
In Jun 08
The washing machine broke down yesterday… oh no, I can’t take it any more, not more clothes to wash… no, it wasn’t an emotional breakdown, just a mechanical one, well, actually it was electrical… in a mechanical sort of way. I would be lying if I said the washing machine had an emotional breakdown… you know I’m right, because washing machines don’t have emotions do they… or then again, maybe they do… because ours can get a little temperamental… and that’s an emotion… so maybe they do get emotional… well… then again maybe not!
I’m going to be honest here… well, I don’t mean me… I’m not referring to myself… not that I’m dishonest or not honest… I’m just referring to the phrase, or ones similar, that I often hear sales professionals utter. The problem with it, is that it infers they may have been dishonest prior to being honest… so might as well not use it.
We all know that you should not lie to our customers… well, hopefully we do and therefore we don’t. It’s as they say… it’s not that sales people tell lies, it’s just what they know is not true!… so we need to to honest… honesty is always best… or is it.
As the engineer was repairing our emotionally depressed washing machine he was taking calls from potential customers. He’s a busy chap… he runs his own business… he keeps his customers happy… he’s efficient, reliable and gets the job done… he’s in demand. Our machine broke down yesterday, he came out today… other people on the phone he was telling them he can’t get to them until middle of next week. If that was us, there would have been a few more emotional breakdowns in the household with my daughters’ unable to have their daily fix of clean clothes.
Anyhow, the nice doctor, sorry, engineer explained that he will always make sure he sees his good customers. Those that are new have to wait the normal time… he has to look after his regulars… and then he has to look after his not so regulars (the ones with the more emotionally stable machines)… now with these guys, to keep them happy he tells them that he won’t be able to see them until Monday… he’s waiting for a certain part… just fitted the last one yesterday and he will get the delivery at 7am Monday and will be with them at 7:30… will that do? Customer is happy, they are being looked after… not the engineer’s fault he has to wait for parts.
However, the real story is… he has the part, but he’s too busy to get to them… they are not on the really important list of customers. So, rather than hurt their feelings he told a white lie - a lie that is relatively unimportant and designed to be tactful, polite and keep the customer feeling good. The question is… is this wrong?
9 Comments
To be honest with you, I really enjoyed this article…not to say I haven’t enjoyed all your others….or do I?
The truth shall set you free and if not will certainly set your customers free.
Although we’ve never met I get the feeling I like you. That’s a good feeling, isn’t it? If I didn’t actually have this feeling, would it be wrong to make you feel good? Maybe.
For me, the question of wrongness has to with intent. Since your washing repairman (uh, engineer) only intends to make his customers happy and then actually does make them happy, it is not wrong for him to lie about the reason they have to wait.
Congratulations to him for being busy and also caring about people’s feelings. Wow, a story about both a washing machine and an engineer with emotions!
Hi Colin,
I become more convinced daily that you’re the reincarnation of Douglas Adams.
The “white lie” question is a really tough one - whether it’s for sales or life in general - and I don’t have a great answer.
Personally, I veer towards complete transparency. Possibly it’s just the way I am, but it may also be to do with the nature of the relationships I aim to set up with my clients. If you are establishing long term rather than transactional relationships then the risk of damaging that relationship with a “little white lie” is greater.
On the other hand, we know from Ellen Langer’s work at Harvard and the “photocopier experiment” that giving a reason for something - no matter the qality of the reason - makes it much more acceptable to people. So the “I haven’t got the part” is easier to swallow for customers than no reason at all (and certainly better than “you’re not a good customer”).
I think there’s also an element of social conventions here. Rather like asking “how are you?” and always expecting “fine” not a real answer. Or abit like “It’s not you, it’s me…”. We probably really know that the problem isn’t a missing part when someone gives us that excuse - we’re not really being lied to because we understand the code - it’s a social convention to let us down easily and not make us feel bad.
Ian
Colin ‘Douglas’ Wilson then from now on!
Everything needs to be judged in its context; he (the engineer, not Doug) told a white lie to cover himself in a B2C situation, which we all know happens (’we are out of stock today, but will have more tomorrow’), and half expect I guess, so no problem there I believe.
In a B2B environment it happens all day every day; ‘the PO is on its way’, ‘the cheque is in the post’, ‘I am just finishing the proposal, I will email tonight’, ‘I love working on bids, honestly, I’m just too busy to contribute’ etc.
Not so acceptable - B2B demands honesty.
[...] A recent post by Colin WIlson - Are You Lying Comfortably - got me thinking about ethics in sales. [...]
Colin,
I know there are people who will disagree with me but I am with Ian. I tend towards total transparency. It would be just as easy to tell the truth and say I am totally booked up but could be out there at 7:30 Monday. As you said, in the post, he is efficient, reliable, and in demand. If all that is true. customers should have no problem believing that he is booked up.
The one thing I have learned in sales is that the truth rarely gets you in trouble and lies are almost always found out. If the truth does land you in trouble better now than later when the risk is potentially higher. Moreover, if the truth will land you in trouble it’s probably a sale you are better off without.
-Brad
[...] Ian | June 13, 2008 A recent post by Colin WIlson - Are You Lying Comfortably - got me thinking about ethics in [...]
[...] June 2008 · 11 COMMENTS A recent post by Colin WIlson – Are You Lying Comfortably – got me thinking about ethics in [...]
[...] recent post by Colin WIlson – Are You Lying Comfortably – got me thinking about ethics in [...]